THE LAB

by Torrie Sullivan

This week was the final straw in my 7 month mojo-pilfering experience as a founding partner of Re-Vision Labs.  I came to Seattle with horns and trumpets blaring back in May specifically to bring business strategy and processes around operations, IT, finance, etc. to this new company.  With my UCLA MBA and “Big 4” consulting background, I came into our first strategy meeting armed with breakdowns of functional departments, a red pen explosion all over the existing business plan, and a 360 Degree Performance Evaluation process. Instead we spent the entire time talking about how we wanted to make a difference in the world.  Not kumbaya, let’s paint each other green and burn our panties “make a difference”, but really, what and who exactly we were going to assist in building movements to fight for an end to global poverty?  Who were the good guys in finance and how could we aid in community building to shift power and make sure that the mistakes made here in the US weren’t transported over to developing countries?

Wait a minute….the most important questions aren’t around product lines and services level and culture creation and talent acquisition and retention?  It’s about our personal morals, beliefs and plans to join forces in making the world better?  My Corporate Mojo is a loud 10 piece band and the banjo just lost its strings.  DA-DA -DING -ding- ding- ding- ding- ding- ding…

As each month passed and my vibe was not exactly vibing, one instrument after another lurched in final note into the recycling bin.  I was talking when I should have been listening, forcing measures and metrics and creating formal meetings to address things that really only needed a brief conversation over a cup of joe at Stump Town.  This is not to stay that Seattle companies or Re-Vision Labs don’t rely heavily on fundamentals of business.  It’s just that there is a [whisper whisper] higher priority than maximizing shareholder value [gasp!].

This week a brand new addition to the team pulled me aside to remind me not to make decisions out of fear.  Nothing else, just wanted to make sure I thought about this.  The old jazz viper in me wanted to flare up and pound the table [professionally of course] and insist that though appreciated, his feedback was not appropriate in this situation.  But transparency and authenticity are not just words on our website.  These kinds of conversations happen all the time at Re-Vision Labs and finally, instead of putting up my usual defenses when challenged, I listened and thought, I wonder why I am afraid right now?  The very last squeaky string in my ensemble died.

I was told yesterday that I’m probably not ready to write this first blog.  That I’m not ready to formally assert a personal brand because I don’t know exactly what I stand for to make sure people listen.  Well, I admit that I’m wrong a lot, that in dealing with these unbelievably complex topics around how to change the world I worry I don’t have enough information to take a firm stand, and I can’t guarantee that anything I say has any real value.  Though painful at first, I believe that finally admitting and accepting that I don’t know is a life-changing step forward.

I don’t have a personal brand because Seattle stole my mojo, and in its death, I’m finding the silence to be incredibly beautiful.

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